After fasting all day yesterday, I’m down five pounds. Some of that must have been weight from water retention, which would have been caused by the salted cashews consumed the previous day (the cheese also would have contributed to sodium intake). Still, I’m glad to be under 250 pounds again. There is a surprisingly noticeable difference in the way I feel at 250 pounds versus 255 pounds. Although the lower weight is still far too high, my usual aches and pains are less in frequency and intensity, and I feel less lethargic and unmotivated (I’m less of a couch potato).

I plan to fast tomorrow. However, I am taking a well-deserved (and necessary) day off from work, so how I spend my time will be at my discretion. I do have a list of things to do, but I’m not always good at sticking to such lists (often because I simply feel overwhelmed by them), so we’ll see if I can keep myself busy.

I’ve just accepted that my job sucks and there’s not a lot I can do about it except either tolerate it for as long as it takes to get into a different role at the same company or leave the company entirely. In order to do the latter, I need to have something else lined up, so I’ll be working on that in the coming weeks. At least I’ll have some sense of agency by actively pursuing other jobs at other places of employment. Hopefully, this will reduce the amount of anxiety I experience on a daily basis and eliminate at least some of the desire to be comforted by food (especially sugar).

Speaking of sugar, I haven’t had any all week, and it hasn’t been that difficult. Much of that has to do with being busy all week, I suppose. Still, I’m kind of impressed that the cravings for something sweet haven’t really been there. Tomorrow will be a challenge, though, depending on how constructively I can spend my time.

I’m finishing off the cashews and cheese today, so I likely won’t lose any weight despite limiting myself to my yogurt and blueberries this morning and vegetarian salad tonight. If I get down to 245 pounds after fasting tomorrow, I’ll have lost 30 pounds in two months, which obviously averages out to 15 per month. My goal was 20 per month, so I have some ground to make up, but I hope to be more disciplined in the coming weeks than I have been in the previous weeks. We’ll see.