Yesterday was not a good day. My job has been stressing me out, a very good friend of mine has apparently decided we’re no longer friends, and the weather has been gloomy on-and-off for days now. Those three factors seemed to hit me all at once yesterday, and my brain was searching for some sort of relief. I hoped that going to the gym would help, and it did, but only temporarily. Because work has been slow in the afternoon lately, I took a couple of hours off to destress. In retrospect, I should have just tried to stay busy because feeling down combined with idle time is not a good combination. Without going into details, I’ll just say that some chocolate was consumed.

Other than the chocolate, though, I stuck to what I’d planned to eat yesterday; a big salad with grilled chicken. My salads are pretty simple: romaine lettuce, red onion, red bell pepper, broccoli, tomatoes, French vinaigrette, hummus, and chicken. Still, I gained just over two pounds, so I’ll be fasting again today. It’s becoming pretty clear that every calorie counts, and the chocolate was a calorie bomb, so I’ll need to go back to avoiding processed sugar entirely. I’d hoped to give it up until I’d reached my goal, but it’s one of those things that I tend to fall back on when I’m feeling down.

I was thinking about effort this morning and how it has to be consistent and sustained for any progress toward a goal to be made. A lot of people (myself included) don’t reach our goals specifically because our efforts toward them are erratic and short-lived. I actually got to thinking about this because of my friend who is apparently not my friend anymore. I think friendship is like a garden: you have to tend to it. If you don’t consistently work on it and commit to it for the long term, it’ll fade away (and my friend is not a good gardener). The same principle applies to a lot of things. I like to write, and I’d like to have a regular writing practice, but I haven’t (yet) put in the work to do it.—my effort toward that goal isn’t consistent or sustained. Anyway, circling back to this weight loss project, I think I just need to refocus and recommit to consistency over the long term.

There doesn’t seem to be much else to say today. Just feeling glum. Brain not work. More later…