I gained a pound yesterday. Given that I got into the chocolate almonds again, this wasn’t a surprise.Sugar is a diet-killer, and I’ll have to give it up entirely again. I’m not one of those people that can indulge just a little bit every once in a while; unless I give it up completely, I’m going to consume it.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. As I mentioned in one or two previous posts, there’s been some turmoil with a good friend, and my brain seems to be chewing on that to the point where it’s affecting my sleep. I tend to wake up early if I’m anxious about something, so I’m only getting about four hours of sleep lately. Neither the anxiety nor the reduced sleep is good for my eating habits.

I also had kind of a crappy day at work yesterday. I don’t particularly like my job—it’s stressful, unfulfilling, and utterly unremarkable. I am a small cog in the wheel of a giant corporation, and that isn’t a role I relish. There are metrics that I’m held accountable for, and the most important metric really isn’t the most important according to the company I work for. My brain was instantly resistant to taking this job when I was offered it, and I probably should have listened to that intuition, but I have a mortgage and bills to pay. So I feel a bit stuck, and that’s frustrating.

The friend situation and the job situation have been taking a significant toll on me, and that has on occasion thwarted my weight loss efforts. I wrote quite a bit yesterday and how much my eating patterns are the result of anxiety, depression, OCD, etc., and I’m continuing to realize just how influential those factors are. My emotional state of mind seems to be my biggest driver toward bad eating, and that’s a problem given that my brain is often in a state of turmoil.

I’ll go to the gym again today, and that will boost my mood and reduce my anxiety to some degree. Still, I lament that I don’t have a calmer, more even-keeled brain. My eating seems to often reflect my state of mind, so I need to figure out how to better manage my mind to manage my eating.