Yesterday was not a non-fasting day because I don’t mind what I eat when Mom or Dad comes to visit. Mom is in town, so we made our usual trip to Torchy’s Tacos. Besides a couple of tacos, my yogurt and blueberry breakfast was the only other meal of the day. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I was six pounds lighter. Obviously, I didn’t create enough of a calorie deficit to account for that significant of a drop, so I was likely retaining water earlier in the week.

I also wonder about cortisol. Because of the stress of my job, my sleep issues, and my general anxiety, my cortisol levels are undoubtedly chronically elevated. I managed to keep my CPAP mask on all night, and I was less stressed yesterday because I took the day off and had a visitor, so I’m wondering if a dip in cortisol could explain some of the weight loss. Cortisol is eliminated by the body in urine, so maybe I was peeing away the pounds yesterday?

Whatever the reason, I’m glad to be approaching 240 pounds again. Poor sleep is associated with weight gain due to the cortisol connection (see https://tinyurl.com/4c7tbseb), so maybe I need to be better at managing my sleep during this project. There isn’t much I can do about what happens while I sleep, obviously, but perhaps better sleep hygiene prior to sleep would have at least some effect on sleep quality.

The chronic anxiety is also undoubtedly contributing to the stubbornness of my body in terms of losing weight (see https://tinyurl.com/yv8n79wt). My current job is a tremendous source of anxiety, and I am looking for something less stressful, but in the meantime there isn’t much I can do about it. My visits to the onsite gym do help curb my anxiety, but I could be doing more. Perhaps I will finally commit to a morning yoga practice.

The most significant contributor to my daily anxiety is severe OCD. That extraordinarily disruptive disease is one I have battled almost my entire life. While I’m currently doing a decent job of managing it, there are situations in my daily life in which its constant presence provokes an anxiety response. Those regular spikes, no matter how minor they might seem, likely result in my cortisol levels being always elevated. As always, I need to be better at combating it because it does take a significant toll on me every day, so maybe I need to get back to focusing on how to diminish its power.